It's Still Today
by RomanticFictionFreak
Summary: Growing up is different after the Break. Every day counts. Sentimental stuff like this may not matter much anymore— but Ellie didn't mind. It's something people born before the outbreak, like Joel and Maria, celebrate. As long as Joel didn't forget.


**Hey guys! So I hope this doesn't cause confusion with my other Last of Us fanfic. To clarify they're not really collaborative, but I mean they can be if you want. Anyway, Enjoy!**  
**Disclaimer: If I owned Naughty Dog I would be obsessing over the LoU sequel and stalking Troy Baker around the set. And since I'm not, I DO NOT OWN LAST OF US. **

* * *

Summers in Jacksonville meant waking up to the sunrise.

Most of the camp woke early, prepping for their shifts, either scavenge runs, engine care, security, or, like Joel, tending the crops. Ellie woke with him, and silently as they fought off their early-morning spell, they got ready. Their cabin wasn't too big, but it was set a little distance from the main center. Tommy must've been thinking of his brother when he offered them the house, and Joel was secretly grateful for the bit of privacy their place offered. Ellie seemed to like it too. After they had gotten their own mattresses, they seemed to have mutually agreed to set up both of theirs in the main room. Not that the place was nicely decorated or anything, but it felt more like a home than they had in the last year.

"Ready to head to breakfast?" Ellie's voice broke through his haze.

"Yeah," he replied, voice still rough from sleep.

They walked through the camp, the morning air already tinted warm. Hues of gold and orange reflected off the metal structures, touching only the highest tips, as the sun began to rise. They vaguely reminded Joel of lighters. As they reached the Mess hall, people were heading the same way, some were already leaving. Joel realized it was usually this busy, people getting breakfast before they headed to work. Ellie opened the door for them both, and they stepped inside.

"Hey! There she is!" Maria spotted their arrival and made her way over to them, giving Ellie a big embrace.

Joel looked to Ellie, catching her bashful grin as Maria pulled away.

"Good morning, Ellie," Maria smiled, expressing her morning personality. "I hope this day is going well."

Ellie gave a small laugh, sounding a little small as if Maria's attention was a spotlight shinning too brightly on her. "We'll have to see, it just started."

Maria's smile grew. "Well, I have a way to kick it off to a good start," she hinted, waving her hand at Ellie. Maria began walking toward the metal doors that led to the kitchen. Just before Ellie made another step, she hesitated and looked back at Joel.

"Go on ahead," Joel told her, waving her off. "I'll meet you at the table."

Ellie grinned and started toward the kitchen.

The line for the meals was pretty short, resembling a cafeteria-style serving. Joel got two trays, already knowing what Ellie would get, and waited patiently. When he had finished the line, both trays filled to their likings, he found an empty section of one of the long tables. Dust lined the floor of the Hall, and if you looked closely you could see the grooves and scratches from where the tables must've been dragged across to arrange them the way they were. It was still amazing to see how far this little community had come. Little things, like the way the several long tables horizontally filled up the Hall, brought that to Joel's mind. He set down the trays next to each other, but before he took a bite, he glanced back at the metal doors. Ellie wasn't back yet, but Maria couldn't keep her too long, so he decided to start eating before her.

"Mornin', Brother," Tommy took a seat in front of him, a rifle slung over his back and a nutrition bar in one hand.

"Mornin'," Joel replied through a mouthful.

"I take it the new place is suiting you well?"

"Very, thank you."

"How's Ellie taking to it?"

"Pretty good, Tommy." Ellie appeared on the other side of Joel, grinning. She was holding something up in one hand. And Joel had to take a second glance to see what it was. He nearly widened his eyes out of their socket. Ellie was holding a cookie in her hand. It's dough a creamy white with the sweet glisten of sugar coating the top. He hadn't seen a treat like for more than fifteen years. Ellie swung her legs over the seat, planting herself in front of her tray. A simple piece of toast coated with scrambled eggs and a side bowl of grey oatmeal (or a weaker, tasteless version of it). It was high in protein and easy to make, that was probably the only reason they served it.

"How'd you get that?" Joel asked her, nodding his head to the cookie.

Ellie nibbled it. "Maria. She said when they moved here there were some old bakery goods. And they preserve it, as much as they can." Ellie shoved the last of the cookie in her mouth, brushing off stray crumbs with her sleeve.

Joel eyed her. "Isn't it a little early to have that for breakfast?"

Ellie just shrugged. "Maria said I should start the day off sweet." She swallowed the reminder of the treat and took to licking the sugar crystals off her fingers while Joel's brows came together.

He watched her as she savored the sugar before digging into her breakfast. Since when did Ellie need to start her day off 'sweet?' What the hell did that even mean? He decided not to press any further. Ellie was in a good mood, more like herself from the early days in their journey.

They finished their breakfasts in silence, trying to clean their plates before the guys had to start their shifts. Maria walked past Joel and Ellie's table, pausing by Ellie briefly. "Okay, I'll see you back here later tonight, okay? Don't forget," she warned kindly.

Ellie nodded her head in equal mock emphasis, laughing as Maria walked out of the hall. Ellie put her empty tray at the center stack as she stood up. "Welp, I'm off to the stables," Ellie said, "See you guys later."

Tommy smiled while Ellie started making her way toward the door. "I'll be there."

When she walked out, confusion finally got the better of Joel. He turned to his little brother. "Is there somethin' goin' on today that I should know about?"

"Ah, it's just the party Maria's tryin' to set up," Tommy mentioned, casually, setting one foot on the bench and standing on the other.

"A party?" Joel asked dubiously. What the hell could they be celebrating?

"Yeah, she likes to do it for all the kids." Tommy gives him a nudge across the table. "But personally I think she's takin' quite a soft spot for Ellie. She's just tryin' to make her birthday real special."

Joel inhaled a forkful of eggs. After coughing until he could breathe again, he looked at his brother, and adjusted himself awkwardly as if he hadn't heard him right. "Birthday?"

Tommy gave him a weird look. "Yeah, it's Ellie's birthday. What, you didn't know?"

Joel was completely taken off guard. Besides the fact that he couldn't believe a while another goddamm year had gone by, a blank state seemed to cross over his mind at the thought of Ellie's birthday. The idea just didn't seem to click in his head— Ellie getting older, celebrating something so normal and yet so rare in this world. But when it finally did, a sudden jolt of panic went through him. What was he going to do for her day? Unlike his sister-in-law, he didn't have shit planned. And anyway, how do you celebrate a kid's birthday during an apocalypse?

While Joel's mind scrambled to come up with something, Tommy's hand just patted his shoulder. "Well, Maria's planning the party to be here. So just come on over after your shift or somethin'. Don't worry about it." He left him at that, exiting the Hall and heading to the patrol along the wall. Joel put his finished plate with the stack and headed toward the fields. Something else bothered him as he started on the crops. He tried to kick it to the back of his mind, but it was still there, that twinge of guilt for forgetting something so important to a kid. Ellie didn't seem to have minded. In fact, she didn't even mention it to Joel. The day felt just as any other in the camp.

Joel filtered through the morning, trying to pick up on any hints Ellie might have given away about today. Nothin'. Ellie didn't seem to have noticed his obliviousness, which somehow only made him feel worse. Did she just not expect him to remember? He shook his head. _Nah, Ellie was just the kinda girl who didn't ask for that kinda stuff_. As he suppressed the guilt, he focused on the real problem. What was he going to do now that he knew?

* * *

Ellie spent the day in, so far, her favorite place in the village: the stables. It was kept near the doors, so that the horses didn't have to walk so far before being led out. They were cared for regularly, but only taken out on scavenge runs when they needed distance. Tommy told her sometimes on foot is the best way to get through. She knew what he meant easily— on foot, meant quieter traveler, and quiet meant avoiding possible infected. The stables weren't too big a place (considering how many horses it held), but she liked it better that way. It made the room warm and still open to the sunlight. In here, among the old, soft-brown wood and the heavy breaths of the beasts, Ellie could almost pretend everything was normal.

By now, Ellie knew where the grooming tools were by heart. The day continued on, and Ellie had already reached the end of the stalls and stood beside ol' Paradiso— a large black horse with a long matching mane. Beautiful.

She tried to focus on her task. But her mind kept wandering back to Maria and Tommy. She wasn't used to that kind of affection. Where she grew up in the military school, individuality was as difficult to accomplish as taking on a Runner. And she'd gotten pretty used to it; after all, when Joel had to take care of her, he didn't exactly roll out the welcome wagon, whatever that means. But she couldn't deny that it felt good to be noticed the way Maria and Tommy had to her. Was that how most kids' birthdays were, before the Break? Pretty soon Ellie started daydreaming about life before the shit storm. Must have been fucking fantastic. She recalled the ranch girl's diary, and how she complained about a party she went to that had cheap snacks and bad music. The entire thing sounded so bizarre: complaining about cheap snacks? What about having food at all? Bad music? She doubted that girl's idea of good music was even around anymore.

"I'm fifteen years old, Paradiso," she told the horse, rubbing his snout. She didn't feel much older. At least, not in the way that involved age. She knew she was definitely not an adult, and yet somehow she felt like the nightmares she carried were too big for a girl her age. Either way, she dealed. She was fifteen, she could handle it. Ellie caught herself in one of the flat metal bars lining the walls and checked out her reflection. She looked down at her shoes and trailed up. Her face grimaced when she saw the condition of her shirt— it practically resembled a rag. The thing was covered in holes and blood splatter. She hoped to go on a scavenge run soon, hoping maybe she'd find some new clothes. Besides her shirt, everything else was old and tattered too, but not bad enough for Ellie to be in need of replacements. Still, even though her clothes were old and overused, they didn't make her _look_ any older. She looked just the same. Her hands came up to her face, still young looking since none of her features had fully defined. Then her hands pressed against her cheeks, squashing them together. "Hey," she said to Paradiso through squished lips, "Why the long face?" The horse nickered at her. Ellie dropped her hands and shrugged. "Yeah, I don't really get it either," she said, "I read it in a book once."

Who was she kidding? Ellie scoffed. Those fourteen years belonged to a kid. There was nothing significantly different about her. Except this year was different. She knew exactly how much had changed. The changes that affected her internally, screwing her brain.

Everything about her was practically unchanged, and to any other person she was just a young teenage girl. But she felt older, she knew she was older. Because in this world age was just the number of years you somehow managed to stay alive. But everything you _did_ in those years made you older. You could age a decade in a few days, easy. Ellie winced, trying to ignore the sudden chill as she remembered the brutal winter storm, the sound of glass crunching under her foot, the flames rising higher up the walls, the feel of the blade's handle firmly in her grasp—

No. She refused to think about it. She thought back to Maria and Tommy instead. Letting her mind run free as she tried to imagine what they had planned for her. Maria was tough the first moment Ellie met her. But as she got to know her, she noticed how Maria took every opportunity to be optimistic. She was like the heart of this community, keeping the energy alive even while the world died around it. She seemed more excited for her birthday than Ellie was. Ellie laughed at the thought. Tommy was loyally following his wife's party planning, trying to make it special too. They were good people.

And Joel? He acted the same way he always did, which Ellie actually preferred. It balanced out Maria's over joyous excitement. And it was nice to rely on him. Ellie tried imagining Maria's excitement in Joel-form. She snorted loudly, making Paradiso shake his head, as she put away the tools. She shook her own head at the thought. Joel had his own way of expressing himself. It was difficult to imagine his expression ranging from that fierce look when taking on a bandit to Maria's wide smiles and warm hugs.

Elli gave the horse a gentle pat and headed out. When she closed the stable door, she realized just by glancing at the late sunset that Maria's shindig was starting soon. Her mind went suddenly to Joel. He didn't greet her with exaggerated or forced enthusiasm. It was like this was just another day. And as birthdays go, Ellie was grateful for that piece of normalcy. She didn't plan on making today a big deal anyway.

But it would be nice to see him at the gathering Maria was planning tonight, Ellie thought, kicking some gravel on her way to the cafeteria. If it wasn't for him, she'd have never made it to 15 anyway.

* * *

The party was small and simple, but Ellie didn't care about that. The people in the room made up the _real_ party. She was surprised by how energized they all were, eager to praise her and have a good time. Ellie found herself enjoying the whole thing, laughing with people she'd seen around the village but never talked to. She realized that maybe they were just like her, looking for something good in their life and making the most out of it. The attention was a little bit too much, but thankfully they all mingled with each other and didn't focus on just 'the birthday girl.' They used some old instruments still in remarkably good enough shape to play music and encourage the festivities. It was more fun than Ellie had expected.

When it finally ended, not too late since Maria enforced the rule that people had early shifts tomorrow, Maria walked Ellie back to the house she shared with Joel. The giddy happiness she felt during the party began to fade as she realized Joel hadn't been there. In fact, she hadn't seen him since breakfast. Tommy had mentioned earlier that Joel had taken a later shift, and would most likely show up later. But as far as Ellie knew, he hadn't.

When she got to the door, she turned around. "Thanks, Maria. It was a lot of fun," she told her.

Maria gave one of her kind smiles, the one that almost made you forget about the shotgun she always carried with her, and hugged her. When she pulled back, her thumb brushed Ellie's chin. "Happy birthday, Ellie," she said before turning and walking back toward her own house with Tommy.

Ellie wondered if Maria ever considered being a mom. She thought, with assuredness, that she'd make a good one.

The worry returned, even stronger when she was alone in the house. Joel's pack was nowhere to be seen, so he must've been out. But where the hell was he?

As it got darker, Ellie lit another lamp and sat up against the wall. The dark castings along the edges of the room reflected how the worry ate around the edges of her mind, like it was threatening to pull her apart. After waiting for what felt like eternity, Ellie grew frustrated.

"What the fuck, Joel?" she muttered aloud. Wandering thoughts being her only company, questions began to form in her head. He couldn't have just left her, right? A dark thought flashed into her mind. Did he just plan on leaving her here while he went back to Boston? She shook her head to rid it. No, Joel wouldn't do that. He fought so hard to keep them together. Besides, she knew him well enough by now to know that he couldn't abandon the home they've started to build. There was an unspoken oath to protect each other. She just couldn't see Joel breaking it now. Not today…

Ellie dragged her pack closer to her and shifted through her stack of comics. Choosing one at random, she flipped through it, concentrating on every detail of the art work, the dialogue, anything to get her focus elsewhere. Savage Starlight had just narrowly escaped the space station as it exploded, saving her crew but losing her first officer. Ellie immersed herself in the brave stance the heroin took as she swore to venture through space until she found and defeated her foe, avenging her loyal companion. And at the bottom corner of the page, there those familiar three words: _To be continued_.

It was always like that. Continuing forward, never knowing what will happen in the next few days, the next few minutes. _A whole year_, Ellie thought. She refused to speak aloud, the emptiness of the house only amplified when her voice echoed back to her. Life without Joel was difficult to imagine. Just sitting in this room taunted Ellie of how many people she had grown attached to before they were ripped from her life. Leaving her by herself…

Joel's coming back. Ellie knew he would. It was just a late shift.

She pulled out another comic, reading with the same intensity as the last. It kept the haunting loneliness away, least for now.

By the eighth or something comic, Ellie's head began to nod. She fought to keep reading, snapping her eyes open. Her effort didn't last, most of it used up from the day's early events. She finally passed out, her body slumped against the wall, with the lantern's light still nipping at the shadows.

* * *

"Psst, hey kiddo, wake up." Joel nudged Ellie, until suddenly her eyes flashed open.

She looked momentarily deluded, but there was a look of relief as she realized it was Joel. "Hey," she said, fighting back her grogginess. "Where have you been?"

"I had some things I had to do."

Ellie scoffed. She wanted to call out Joel's bullshit, but didn't have the energy. He continued anyway. "Today's your day, ain't it?" Joel asked.

Ellie stifled a yawn, causing her voice to strain as she replied. "It was. Yesterday."

"Nah, it's still today," Joel told her, taking a seat on the floor near her.

A confused look made it on Ellie's face. Joel sat there, his hand hidden behind him, and took a deep breath as if he was preparing for something. "Well, I'd gone off on a few scavenge runs. And uh, here." His hand pulled up from behind him and handed a small dark blue object to her, looking slightly uncomfortable as he did. "I got this for you."

Ellie took it from him warily, unsure and off guard by his sudden uncharacteristic behavior. She realized it was a piece of clothing, folded into a sloppy square. Taking a quick glance at Joel, she moved to fold it out, holding it up at arms' length. Her eyes widened when the entire shirt came into view. The familiar drawing style of Savage Starlight was printed on the front. The fierce character drawn just above her favorite comic's slogan: Endure and Survive.

This had to be the coolest fucking thing ever. Ellie admired it in full view, impressed and almost too incredulous to form a facial expression. But in her excitement, she almost forgot about Joel, who was still watching her with unease. It suddenly dawned on Ellie that Joel was nervous about the gift. He must not have been used to this kind of stuff. But given the fact that he was probably 20 years out of practice, she didn't blame him.

"It's, uh, a little faded," Joel added, "But you said you need some new clothes, I figured…"

Somehow, his uneasiness only made this whole moment sweeter. Ellie's mouth pulled up, realizing how much this must have meant to _him_. Sure, Ellie got a badass new shirt that she was no doubt going to wear with pride for weeks, but finding the shirt, giving this to her, that was a lot for Joel. To act in a fatherly way again must be weird. And suddenly Ellie recalled the last time they were in Jacksonville. Everything they had done, how far they've gone together. If someone had told her several months ago that Joel would be getting her a Savage Starlight T-shirt for her birthday she probably would've checked them for bites.

Ellie looked up at him. Joel was forcing to keep his chin straight. And tension lined his jaw and around his eyes as he waited for Ellie. She couldn't help the formation of a smile. "Thanks, Joel," she said, sincerely.

This seemed to soften him, the tension erased as he smiled back at her. He gave one of those titled nods in recognition. "Sure. Happy birthday, Ellie."

A laugh, stored since her initial excitement from the shirt made its way out. She removed her jacket and top layer shirt quickly, leaving on her long sleeved. Ellie got a bit clumsy as she tried to put on the Savage Starlight tee quickly, but finally it was on. And it was a perfect size.

Joel grinned while Ellie beamed down at the logo on her chest. He got a little distant as he watched her excitement reveal itself. Sarah's birthdays had always been simple, among family and a few of her friends. But Joel always tried to make them special for her by getting a good gift. Remembering that Ellie was born after the Break and spent a large part of it in an orphanage, Joel reckoned she didn't have a lot of good birthdays. But it felt good to see her happy. Ellie didn't get to be a kid too often, the thought building nostalgia within Joel. But he waved it away— This was their life now, and at least Ellie had some moments like today to enjoy herself. Moments like these, he could forget about all the shit that had happened to her, and she could be just Ellie.

All of a sudden her smile dropped. Her head bent back in dramatic exasperation. "Ugh. Great," she groaned.

"What's the matter?" Joel asked, as if alarmed that there was something wrong with the shirt that ruined its value.

Ellie frowned at him. "You know that now I have to find a way to top this gift for _your_ birthday, right?"

Joel chuckled. "Nah, no thanks, kiddo," he told her, "I don't really like celebrating my birthdays."

Ellie eyes flickered to his hands, where he started to fiddle with the broken watch. She had her suspicions as to why, but decided against pressing further. Just in case she was right.

A moment passed like that, Ellie leaving Joel to his memories as she tried to think of something else to do every year. It seemed unfair to have her own day while Joel didn't. An idea came, making her perk up. But she frowned when she realized it may not be something Joel would be up for. Didn't men hate stuff like this? Oh well, fuck it, she decided to try anyway.

"How about an anniversary?"

"A what?" That pulled Joel back, his attention fully in the present.

"An anniversary. I know it sounds stupid," Ellie kept her tone nonchalant, "but we gotta find a way to count the years somehow. First day we got stuck together," she declared.

This made Joel chuckle again before he gave another look at Ellie's hopeful expression and hitched a shoulder up. "Sure. I can celebrate that."

Ellie grinned, triumphant. "Great!" she said. "Now… what day was that?" Ellie became genuinely confused. Oops, she forgot about that part. She wanted to smack her forehead. Duh, an anniversary needs a _day_.

Joel pretended to think. He really didn't pay attention to days anymore. All he knew was that he and Ellie met around the end of summer. August, probably. "Let's make it August fourteenth," he suggested, mostly humoring Ellie.

Ellie nodded to the idea. "Yeah," she decided. Her eyes went to the ceiling, her mouth making small movements. And Joel realized as he headed to bed that she was doing a mental calculation of the days. "That's coming up pretty soon."

Joel held in his minor dread. "Well, until that day," he mumbled, setting himself into his mattress and blowing out the light.

"Yeah," Ellie responded through the darkness, "Let's just enjoy the rest of this day."

There were some faint shuffling noises, which Joel figured was Ellie getting into the mattress beside his own. It was more comfortable than leaning against the wall, that was for sure.

Exhaustion began to take its toll, dragging Joel deep into unconsciousness when suddenly Ellie spoke up again.

"Hey, Joel," she said, hushed.

He only groaned in response.

"You know, you could've just _sang_ me the birthday song. Instead of, like, going all over the place for the shirt," she suggested, keeping her voice soft. "That would have been a good present."

Ellie swore she heard him smile when he replied. "I'd rather go on a _thousand_ scavenge runs. Through Bill's town."

She tried to bite back a wide grin as she pondered Joel's response. She'd get him to sing eventually, but it was worth a shot for now. _Another day_, Ellie thought, snuggling into her mattress. The grin still hadn't faded, letting Ellie fall asleep with it—and the shirt—still on.

* * *

**Aw, that was a quick onefic. I love the relationship between these two, Ellie and Joel just contribute to the overall awesomeness of this game!**  
**I hope you enjoyed reading! Tell me what you thought in a REVIEW - comment - fanmail (whatever)**

**I do have several LoU ideas going around my head, but this semester is _kicking my ass_. Like seriously, my classes are practically eating me alive. Hopefully I survive finals and the final projects, if I do, I shall resume posting my stories for holiday break! Thanks guys! **

**Muse on.**


End file.
